don't eat the foxglove
so i'm wondering if it's time for a little renovation. perhaps more than a little.
i finally bought a scale yesterday at Wal-Mart (talk about an amazing cross section of this redneck county at 10 p.m.) for the first time ever and have come to the conclusion that, well, I've done worse than I thought I did. I've put on 100 lbs since my sophomore year of high school and I thought I was fat than. sheesh. (for those wondering, that 10lbs per year on average)
I bought a measuring tape, but I'm scared of it now.
I'm afraid that if I curb my indulgences and appetites then there won't be any interesting bits of me left -- especially since my boobs will shrink. I've always been a bit hedonistic, just never thought I'd be quite so rotund. It's sneaky, too, the way it works, because I'm nearly six feet tall so I carry it well -- deceptively well. The tricky part is that it's those last twenty pounds that push me right from big girl to manatee. Just like it's that last shot that gets you from dancing around half nekkid to blow jobs in the supply closet -- okay well that's not always a bad thing.
I got some X-rays today of me knee -- still no idea why it's squishy but hey, maybe I can draw a face on it and pretend like I had a twin but I absorbed all of it but a part of the (face? eye? ass? ) into my knee. Okay maybe not. But I love how they make you sign a waiver if there's any chance you might be preggers (if there's been sex since last period, it counts) so you don't sue for any mutant babies. Hey, I just like the chance to wear the stylish lead apron -- whether I'm on the rag or not I'll tell 'em yeah. I did make the girl at the registery laugh a lot. She was a good looking black girl, built like me, about my age and I had to make her laugh because she'd try to be all professional, except her voice didn't sound natural. So I made her laugh to keep her from talking to me like a customer since I didn't feel like being one.
Working in customer service will do that to you.
At least I didn't have to put on the sheet with arm holes they call a dressing gown, I just hiked the squishy knee right up on the table and hoped that the radiation would make it bionic.
Put in a butterfly garden at my aunt's house this weekend. Butterfly bush, salvia, foxglove, yarrow, verbena, and bee balm. It should be pretty. I hurt in muscles I forgot I had. oh, and the foxglove, I think, is poisonous. It's name "Digitalis species Scrophulariaceae" gave me a heads up since I recalled that the digitalis part is for treating heart problems -- interestingly enough, my aunt has had severe heart problems for a long long time. Here's an interesting article. http://www.pbench.com/plants/perennials/foxglove.htm
okay, D has been in bed for a long time now, hopefully missing me, most likely not. we're locking the cats out of the bedroom tonight, we need a decent nights sleep!
i finally bought a scale yesterday at Wal-Mart (talk about an amazing cross section of this redneck county at 10 p.m.) for the first time ever and have come to the conclusion that, well, I've done worse than I thought I did. I've put on 100 lbs since my sophomore year of high school and I thought I was fat than. sheesh. (for those wondering, that 10lbs per year on average)
I bought a measuring tape, but I'm scared of it now.
I'm afraid that if I curb my indulgences and appetites then there won't be any interesting bits of me left -- especially since my boobs will shrink. I've always been a bit hedonistic, just never thought I'd be quite so rotund. It's sneaky, too, the way it works, because I'm nearly six feet tall so I carry it well -- deceptively well. The tricky part is that it's those last twenty pounds that push me right from big girl to manatee. Just like it's that last shot that gets you from dancing around half nekkid to blow jobs in the supply closet -- okay well that's not always a bad thing.
I got some X-rays today of me knee -- still no idea why it's squishy but hey, maybe I can draw a face on it and pretend like I had a twin but I absorbed all of it but a part of the (face? eye? ass? ) into my knee. Okay maybe not. But I love how they make you sign a waiver if there's any chance you might be preggers (if there's been sex since last period, it counts) so you don't sue for any mutant babies. Hey, I just like the chance to wear the stylish lead apron -- whether I'm on the rag or not I'll tell 'em yeah. I did make the girl at the registery laugh a lot. She was a good looking black girl, built like me, about my age and I had to make her laugh because she'd try to be all professional, except her voice didn't sound natural. So I made her laugh to keep her from talking to me like a customer since I didn't feel like being one.
Working in customer service will do that to you.
At least I didn't have to put on the sheet with arm holes they call a dressing gown, I just hiked the squishy knee right up on the table and hoped that the radiation would make it bionic.
Put in a butterfly garden at my aunt's house this weekend. Butterfly bush, salvia, foxglove, yarrow, verbena, and bee balm. It should be pretty. I hurt in muscles I forgot I had. oh, and the foxglove, I think, is poisonous. It's name "Digitalis species Scrophulariaceae" gave me a heads up since I recalled that the digitalis part is for treating heart problems -- interestingly enough, my aunt has had severe heart problems for a long long time. Here's an interesting article. http://www.pbench.com/plants/perennials/foxglove.htm
okay, D has been in bed for a long time now, hopefully missing me, most likely not. we're locking the cats out of the bedroom tonight, we need a decent nights sleep!
posted by Laura | 10:43 PM
4 Comments:
Laura, I have devised and stuck to a diet that has gotten 40 lbs. off me so far, if you're interested. It's the only thing that has ever worked for me. I'd be glad to share with you if you'd like. Email me if interested. :)
EII I may well take you up on that -- does it involve ice cream? I like ice cream. ;)
It can!! You might be skeptical, but seriously...it worked for me, and continues to work. I combined a bunch of principles from a bunch of different diets. I am 5'3" and weighed almost what you do now -- which looks much worse on a shorty like me! Anyway, like I said...email if you wanna. :o)
Hmmm...why do I think I had seen a vague weight #? 'Cause now I don't and I don't want you to think I assumed anything. Must have been hallucinating again. Damn, I hate that!
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