Strong Women and Whiskey

not for the delicate palate

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Location: Oxford, Pennsylvania, United States

I've found that if you speak as if with authority on nearly any topic, most people will believe you. This frightens me.

Friday, May 26, 2006

Dance junkie, new meds, joy

I received and Xbox and all the toys to play Dance Dance Revolution for my birthday from Doug, Raven, and Derek. While I'll never be anywhere near on par with the Japanese 6 year olds that can rock out on it, I'm still having and aching-legged-don't-know-when-to-quit blast at it.

I went to a long overdue doctor's appointment Wednesday. My Doctor is incredibly cool, and actually really listens to me. I think, if he were not my Dr. he'd be a cool person to know -- actually I'm sure he and my husband would get along remarkably well. Regardless, I rarely have good news coming back from appointment. Since I've mostly kicked the smoking habit since my last physical, it's time to start seriously looking at weight loss. Keeping up the cardio wit DDR would be good, but I have to adjust my diet (moderately high cholesterol) and my blood pressure (a tad high). However before those things can be addressed we have to rule out that I don't have a sleeping disorder (which would affect the blood pressure) and before I have to do the whole sleep-study thing, I am on allergy meds for a month to see if that works, instead. I've got some kind of pressure back around the eustacian tubes that's making my ears itch like crazy.

Oh, and he prescribed Cymbalta for me because apparently, big suprise here folks, I'm clinically depressed and have been for some time. I'm not sure how I feel about really accepting that -- but it finally came down to survival, and I had to address it because I simply was not functional. It'll take a month to fully work, if it does, so maybe there will be a remarkable difference. Maybe not. If it does, then I start looking for a counselor. I hope that I can find a way around being permanently medicated (particularly since I'd have to come off to have kids and nurse). I'm suprised at his choice of meds, though, Cymbalta is a seritonin AND norepinephrine reuptake inhibitor. Seritonin is a mood hormone but norepinephrine is a pain regulating hormone. The shorts story is sometimes nerves tell the brain that they're in pain even when there's no actual stimuli for pain. Maybe the lining of the nerve has worn away from malnutriton (poor circulation of blood and lymph) and a condition occurs call neuropathy. This happens to many diabetics. This med is also approved to treat neuropathy. Hrmph. The web site says it's for the general aches and pains that often accompany depression (which makes sense, even though I'd never put them together) -- the only thing is that I don't like to take any kind of painkiller if I can help it at all. But I'm willing to try it -- could link back to the sleep thing -- it may help me sleep better which is overall better for my physical and mental health.

I do know that I wrote my first poems in a long time yesterday, even though they sucked. Part of me has avoided this for a long, long, time because I was afraid I'd lose my creativity. Then, I'd become so bad, that I lost all my creativity and passion except for the occasional outburst. Hell, I wasn't even enjoying food anymore -- that's when I knew it was bad. But wouldn't it be funny if I got it all back and the thing that I though spawned a lot of my creativity was exactly the thing that stymied it?

Just a thought. An experiment. Oh, and the allergy meds -- I hadn't realized it, but my sense of smell had diminished a lot. I smelled the outdoors yesterday and was ready to get drunk on it. Even if I don't totally approve, they're working. I just need to see if I can find an effective holistic approach down the road some.

Okay, enough boring medical bullcrap. Here's a really cute picture of Jonas, Angie's kid. I think this photo just captures joy as it should be.


Blogger Erin said...

I'm with ya, Laura!! Please let me know if I can help - whether it's just to listen, read or whatever. I know where you are and once you get past beating yourself up about needing meds (which you may not be talking about, but I bet are subconsciously thinking about?), it really is a good thing. Much love to you!!

8:53 AM  
Blogger Angela Martínez said...

Wow L, there's so much in this.

You know the story of my first couple of months as a parent, so I won't rehash, only tell you that without some form of medication I probably wouldn't have survived. I was totally against the idea of taking something, but I NEEDED it, and it was only a short matter of time before they reminded me how to be happy on my own. I think I took them for less than three months.

You've had a lot of huge changes in your life lately, and that can be scary. Your poor body is probably on overload, ya know? The wedding, the house, the job, school, personal life stuff. It seems like nothing familiar has stuck around, and you're having to adjust. It's not that change is bad, it's just change.

As Erin said above, I'm always here to chat/whatever whenever you'd like. I'll grab the Counting Crows CD and a good cup of coffee and we'll be all set!

Love you!

And thanks for posting the pic of J! That's quite a smile he's got there, isn't it?

9:23 AM  
Blogger MikeC said...

<--peeking in to say I wasn't crazy about Paxil, but I did it, after breaking down in the doctor's office. Ok, the rest of you men, start yer snickering. Yuck it up, boys! ;-) I am with you, hon. Peace and hugs.

12:19 AM  
Blogger Mother Raven said...

You know how I generally feel about meds but I think it is a good start. I also wish to emphasize that given your history and as someone mentioned above, all the recent changes it would be very good to see a counselor (despite how well or poorly the meds seem to be performing). It is important to shop around carefully first. We found a good one for D through a great resource and he has benefited immensely as you well know. And of course it is good to maintian warm in intimate relationships with actual people in your life. You seem to have that covered ;) But don't forget we are here.
Let's run off and do something FUN and vaguely irresponsible soon!

8:54 PM  
Blogger Erin said...

*tap tap tap* Is this thing on? I hear nothing coming from this blog. ;)

5:06 AM  
Blogger Angela Martínez said...

Ok, we've waited patiently for a month. Where are the garden pictures? How's massage going? What are the kitties up to? How about a poem?

Love you! *hug*

5:17 PM  
Anonymous qu0thraven said...

Come back! Or now that you are all feeling better, are you too "sane" for your virtual friends?


12:13 AM  
Blogger James E. Cooper said...

People are starting to hack into your blog and make up entries just to satiate the masses. I can't hold them off much longer . . .

5:27 PM  
Blogger Angela Martínez said...

If I send you a fan will you sit down at the computer and update your blog? :)

9:51 AM  
Blogger Angela Martínez said...

I'll even throw in cookies. :)

9:37 PM  
Blogger James E. Cooper said...

Support Group Forming: For people struggling to cope without Laura's blog, we're forming a support group. We'll meet at the First Evangelical Church Thursday nights at 7:30, where light refreshments will be served.

11:29 AM  
Blogger Chelicious said...

Woohoo! Another poette with an xbox! You really have to get a copy of Star Wars Battlefront II, Laur. You and Doug would have a blast rampaging around the Star Wars universe as storm troopers and shooting things. ;) That always helps me. >_<

I'm sorry to hear about all the crap going on, but I hope you know that I, and so many others, think you are a positively marvelous person.

Also, can I get you to email me an address? I have a Christmas card for you kids that I'd like to send out. *hug* You're one of my very favorite people.

- chelsea lou

1:26 PM  

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